The winter season was going well. I ran a couple of marathons, Houston and USA Fit, mainly as training runs. After the latter, I noticed I was running smoother and faster (for this now middle-aged man, anyway). Most notably, the back pain that had slowed me for a year and a half was almost completely gone.
Then it was time for the Jackalope Jam. I wanted a no-pressure goal race for the winter. At The Bear 100, along with other long ultras I had attempted, there was the weight of the distance, the feeling of failure if I didn't make it. While this is a part of ultrarunning, for this winter I just wanted a challenging but low-key event.
The Jackalope Jam was perfect for this. A timed event, there would be no DNF, just however many miles I ran. An hour and half from my house, there would be no expensive travel. Being a flat one mile loop (half mile out, half mile back), the course and logistics could not be more manageable. By signing up for the 72 hours, I'd have ample time to run whatever I wanted. Also, since I teach Saturday classes this semester, the Jam was one of the few ultras I could run without cancelling, which I don't do.
I worked a lot on my mind, writing down what I would do when I felt like quitting. Trying to get in the mood, I watched Unbreakable the night before.
The Race
My plan was to run easy when I felt good at the beginning, then try to keep running off and on as long as possible.
For the first 20 miles or so I clocked off 10-12 minute miles, barring occasional runs to the car or aid station stops.
At around 20 I hit my first low point, and struggled to get to 50k. Cold and misty, I shivered as I walked. The old question of why I run these races came back. Heading to my car to change wet clothes, I had a really hard time going back out into the cold. I could just call it quits a 50k.
I told myself, just run one more mile and see what happens.
Putting on my headphones for the first time, everything changed. I ran and sang along to old favorites like John Lennon's "Watching the Wheels" and Bruce Springsteen's "Dancing in the Dark."
The good vibes didn't last forever, and the miles from 40-50 were a struggle. But I consistently mixed in running with hiking. I wasn't giving up. 50 miles would be huge. I hadn't run that far since 2014. 100k...I'd get a buckle. The thought of wearing that buckle through the spring motivated me to press on.
I made it to mile 51, 100k in sight. Then I made a mistake...I went to my car. By this point it was absolutely nasty, cold and wet. I thought I'd just rest up a few minutes for a final push, but before I knew it I had sat and slept for an hour. When I tried to head out again, I shivered in the cold. I couldn't face it. Since many were only running this timed event in the day, it was all too easy to convince myself to wait until daylight.
The punishment for my weakness was sleeping in car, sweaty and cold.
When the sun came up it was time to run again. 12 miles to go to 100k. Even with comparatively few miles to run, it was hard to start up again. Luckily it wasn't that cold. I was able to run and clocked off the miles, running the first three, mixing in running and hiking for the rest. The last mile was 10:34!
The Start
Reflections
Lessons learned:
1. Don't go to your car. It's too easy to not want to go back again. Next time I'll just get a plastic crate to use as a dropbag.
2. Music really helps.
3. I'm getting in good shape again. I'm slower than in my 30s, but I still felt strong after 100k.
This was a big race for me. I ran farther than I had in years. I had been questioning whether these ultras were still for me. Yes, I had a low point where I wanted to quit, but I bounced back. Getting to 63 miles was a struggle, but it wasn't abject misery. I enjoyed a lot of it.
I could have kept going. I could have walked to 100 miles. I didn't have it in me this day to do it, especially in the cold and rain, but I could have done it. If I attempt 100 miles again, that is good to know.
So now I get to plan a summer season. What that will be I'm not sure. But it will be fun to plan more adventures!
Thanks to Rob Goyen, Trail Racing Over Texas, the volunteers, and Terri for the support.
