I was energized about running 100-milers after finishing the Badger. I took a month off, then began running short distances in preparation for Cactus Rose. I had DNFed there in 2019, so I wanted to make it right.
I had taken Friday off, so I could begin racing and utilize the extended cutoff time of 58 hours. The plan was to drive up Thursday after work and set up the drop bags in the Hill Country State Natural Area.
Then, two days before the race, Tejas Trails emailed that the race had been shifted from Bandera to Camp Eagle in Rocksprings, Texas. This had happened before for Bandera and Cactus Rose due to chance of rain, based park regulations. I understand why the park wants to protect the trails and why Tejas Trails had to follow the regulations. Tejas Trails did an outstanding job hustling to tear down the old course and redo everything at Camp Eagle. Thus, this race would be known as Cactus Eagle.
Camp Eagle is farther from home, so after the 5-hour drive, I arrived in the dark. There were only two aid stations, the Pavilion and the Windmill, and, unlike most years at Cactus, they would be offering gels, snacks, and energy drink at both. So I set out my stuff at the Pavilion where we'd start and didn't bother with a drop bag at the Windmill. Then I set up tent and got some decent sleep before the race.
The Race
Loop 1
It was cool when I started at 7:30, "Margaritaville" playing. The first section was around 4.5 miles featured a lot of switchbacks. The whole course was very rocky. I was running okay at this point. This section was a loop that returned to the Pavilion.
At the Start
The 4.7-mile second section out to the Windmill was probably the most runnable, but everything here seemed slow. But anyway, I had some stomach issues which made me hike most of it. There was a big climb up a wide road up to the Windmill.
Up the Big Climb to the Windmill
The third 5.7-mile section was super rocky and steep, some of it not appearing to be a trail, returning to the Windmill.
The fourth 4-mile section had some more runnable bits in the beginning, but featured a steep climb up the fence line, returning again to the Windmill.
The fifth 6.2 mile section again had some runnable bits up front but then descended to a very rocky section by the river that I remembered from the Nueces 50, which I had then dubbed "The Trash." Then followed switchbacks which led back to one big climb by the bathhouse, and then back to the Pavilion.
"The Trash"
I ran with a guy named Austin, looking to finish his first 100-miler. He did finish!
Along the Course
By 20 miles or so, I was feeling despair. It was a bit hot. I was moving slowly, dreading the miles ahead. I finished the first loop in 8:02.
Loop 2
I ran/hiked the first section. Then back the Pavilion, a fellow said it would get cold so I packed this year's long sleeve race shirt. A bit down the trail, I adjusted how it sat in the pack, which was a mistake. Because when I arrived at the Windmill as it got dark, I realized my headlamp was gone! Fallen by the rock where I had adjusted my pack, of course.
I asked the fellow at the aid station but he had no extra lights. What could I do? I noticed a lady named Seresa who had been moving at about the same pace. I asked if she would mind if I hiked with her and that it was okay if she needed to leave me behind. She said sure, and that the extra help spotting the ribbons would be great. We hiked the tough middle section in the dark, me ahead.
By the fourth section, I was feeling woozy as we hit a relatively smooth section. I had learned at the Badger that if I ran, the wooziness can go away. So in a quick decision, I ran, heading out alone. I had been seeing pretty well by the light of the full moon.
But when I got to the fifth section and "The Trash," I could barely find the markers and had to slowly pick my way through. Later, I got lost briefly in the switchbacks.
By 50 miles in, I was depressed and beat. It was still dark, so the most logical thing to do seemed to be to sleep a couple hours and then regroup in the daylight.
Loop 3
I headed out around 6 or 6:30, 23 hours in. Able to navigate in the dark, I made it to sunrise.
The third loop was a lot of misery, from both being mentally off and the heat. I thought of James and Paloma. They would be proud of me no matter what, but I wanted to be able to tell them I finished.
I had thought that I could make it to mile 80 by nightfall, but when I finished the loop in around 12 hours, 6pm or so, I was beat once again. This time I showered (the race folks kindly directed me to the volunteer room) and ate a delicious double cheese burger from the food truck. I got to my tent a around 7 or so and slept for 3 hours. I knew I had to get some miles in before daylight if I was to finish without battling the cutoffs. I still wasn't sure if I could will myself to head out for one more loop.
Loop 4
I woke up around 10pm and headed out. This time I was having difficulty seeing and met up with a very nice runner named Chad, who was finishing up the 150 miles. He offered to give me a headlamp when we got back to the Pavilion. He was moving at a quick pace, maybe 17 minutes a mile, but I told myself I had to stick with him to get that headlamp.
When we got back to the Pavilion, he realized his headlamp was at the Windmill, which was totally fine. Coming to my senses, I just asked someone at the aid for a light (this was start, after all) and of course they gave me two and batteries! Spirits somewhat lifted, I headed out again.
Despair returned for the next 10 miles. I'd lay down for a bit on the side of the trail or on the ground at the aid at times. The Windmill was so welcome. When I sat, the wind blew and I shivered. I ate quesadillas and later on eggs and sausage.
But with two sections left, I started to rally.
In the next-to-last section, I told myself, "Just make it two miles. Then you will be a mile and change from the aid and you won't have to feel despair." The sun rose as I made it to the Windmill the final time.
Sunrise at the Windmill, 93 Miles In
Then, by the final section, I said, "You are in the final section so you don't have to feel despair." I had been running consistently throughout the race and ran bits back to the Pavilion. Crossing the finish line, Chris said something like, "You slogged through it!" I finished in 50:13.
I showered, ate another burger, then drove the 6 hours back home.
Reflections
I need to work on my mental outlook during races. It may be destined that I have to feel some despair during races, I did not have to feel this badly. Some mental prep work ahead of time might help; I don't know.
I am thankful for races with long cutoffs! I am slow right now and races like Cactus, J&Js, and 48-hour races seem like good ones to do. It could be that the extended cutoffs makes me slower, as I know I don't have to fight the cutoffs like at the Badger. But at this point, I'd rather have the extra time.
When I was running, I thought my performance was slow, pretty poor. But looking at the results, 30 people started and only 13 people finished. Finishing counts for something! Plus, I only took short breaks for naps rather than sleeping all night...leaving nearly 7+ hours before the cutoff. The navigation issue because of the headlamp slowed me down. I'm also thankful I was able to problem-solve the headlamp issue.
I'm grateful I didn't quit. As always, the rewards of finishing a 100-miler are huge. Plus, I have the wedding coming up and I can go into it with a good mindset.
While not in Bandera, I made right my DNF at Cactus Rose.
I'm grateful to the runners who helped me, Tejas Trails, and the volunteers! And of course, Terri, who supported me and let me run so close to the wedding. She knows how much it means to me.
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